Fish Bowl

"Do you ever get the feeling that your in a fish bowl where the water is slowly evaporating? You swim around all day and night in your half gallon universe, always searching for something new on the plastic pirate ship, which forms the centerpiece of your existence. You swim, sink, and float all the while wishing you weren't trapped in your own filth and hoping the water will eventually stop disappearing. You pray that one of the people outside, whom you see waltzing by day by day, drink in hand, will take a brief moment to help a brother out. Wouldn't it be nice if just once someone could spare a few ounces of water?

But they don't. They don't mean to be rude, but there simply isn't time. Or they would love to help you out. Really, they would, but they've been so thirsty for so long and you've got water anyway. It's not like you don't have any. Which would be the resulting predicament for them if they helped you out, as they quickly point out. Although their casa maybe be your casa in theory, their beverage is another matter. Besides, would you really want to swim around in water contaminated by people cooties. The human mouth is a disgusting place. I know I could never be a dentist.

So you just swim back into your sunken pirate ship to search for treasure once more. Boredom can be lethal and there is nothing else in your half-gallon universe to dilute other than yourself, your byproducts, and this plastic ship with a gaping breach in the hull. Treasure? I don’t think so.

Some people claim they enjoy their own company. These are the same people who would love to help you out but would hate for you to have to live in squalor they had anything to do with. If there were any convenient way for them to help you without detriment to your well being, it would happen in a heartbeat. But they’re looking out for you. You must remember that. It is with your best interests in mind and deep in their hearts that their inaction continues. So many reasons to maintain the status quo. These same people will continue to elaborately construct their own mythology day to day and constantly adapt it to the current situation.

No one truly enjoys being alone for extended periods of time. From an evolutionary perspective, the need for companionship ensures the continuation of the species. From a creationist standpoint, it is an inborn need to connect with other creatures in hopes of catching a glimpse of the Creator. The point is this: loneliness is an inherent part of our make up that discourages prolonged solitude.

But some of us, hereafter referred to as 'fish', don't have a choice. We love the idea of other people. However, when confronted with the reality of other active, sentient beings in close proximity, a slight mental itch develops. The itch grows more intense the longer the evening drags on. Through out dinner, it gnaws away at the fish, screaming in his ear that THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!! The following explanation of the problem's exact nature is always muffled, leaving the fish frustrated, nervous, and with a ringing in his ear.

Eventually, the fish will realize what it is that won't allow him, just this once to enjoy this. Were it only a simple psychological need, such as the familiar and comfortable confined space of his bowl, something might be done. But this is a primal command, screamed from a part of the brain his ancestors had long since forgotten. He can't process the salt of the earth and sea any longer! He must leave the ocean and get back to his fresh water tank."

The audience was silent. The past five minutes had passed in silence. No laughter. No heckling. No nothing. He put the microphone back on the stand and walked straight off the stage, back to and through the door. As he walked, he heard the MC mumbling over the public address system, which meant absolutely nothing to him other than the fact that "this thing" had indeed "been on". Lost in a haze, he drove home in the night in silence, broken only by a sigh of relief to be back at his fish bowl.